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Chaque fois que tu t'en vas
Je prétends que tu fais bien
roadnottaken
WOW!! It's been a minute since I've written in this thing. Over a month! That's fuckin nuts! I guess I feel as though what I write here needs to be sensored. So, for those of you out there who know the whole situation then you'll understand, I guess.

I overthink everything. I think about the same thing over and over and over again until it finally goes away. This situation that I have here I am overthinking to death. I'm not just letting it be. I'm not just allowing myself to be completely happy. I'm not letting myself go.

This was never meant to happen. This was never supposed to be what it is. I never wanted to be like this again.

Adoration. Needing. Wanting. Pain. Pleasure. Happiness. Anger. Sadness. Hard. Easy. Fast. Slow.

Let it be. It is what it is. It will become what it is meant to become.

Don't let it go.
3 scars or touch my skin
roadnottaken
No explanation. No reasoning. One more stab. One more dig. We were both in the wrong. Mine wasn't hurtful. Yours was. You don't feel bad because that's how you are. Just please let it be done. Please stay out of my life and I will gladly stay out of yours.
touch my skin
roadnottaken
I cant write in this fucking thing.

I miss YOU, you, you, you, you, and you ...
2 scars or touch my skin
roadnottaken
I've been looking on the internet for a puppy to adopt when the time is right to do so. Since I've been searching (which is hiiiii like two days) I've come across two blind dogs!! TWO!!! Two dogs that have been born with NO EYES!! They aren't from the same mother, not even the same breed. I honestly, not even kidding, want to adopt a blind dog.
2 scars or touch my skin
roadnottaken
I greatly dislike when I'm trying to move forward in my jeep and for some CRAZY reason the seatbelt decides to TRAP me! I'm like really seatbelt really!?!? I'm not going around a crazy bend, I'm not slamming on my breaks. I'm just chillin, drivin. It annoys me!

I have a fear of being trapped.
touch my skin
roadnottaken
Last saturday night we headed into boston for this grand opening of this new club. Which I do have to say I love the set up for. It's very chill out in one section then very crazy in another. Anyway, so, we head to the dance floor .. we're chillin .. then all of a sudden I see a girl who looks just like you. I swear I broke my neck looking at her so much for sure it was you even though I knew it wasn't you. My knees actually got weak when I first saw this girl because I thought it was you. It definitely could not have been you. I knew it. It was just my mind playin tricks on me because part of me wanted it to be you so badly. WHATEVER. So, I called kaite over to me and told her that I saw this girl that looked just like you and that I got weak in the knees. I was hoping kaite would smack me and tell me that I was stupid. Of course, She didn't. Instead she goes "awe, honey" and smiles at me.

The girl walks away.

End of story.

I always want things I shouldn't.

Current Location: work
i feel : sleepy sleepy
what's in my ears: fan

touch my skin
roadnottaken
"its all a state of mind but i dont mind tryin to find a way to keep my head above the mess i make or what the world creates sometimes it feels so good to let it all fall as it will fall"

life is fucked.
1 scars or touch my skin
roadnottaken
I'm seriously thinking about joining the national guard to be a medic/emt. They pay for your 6mths of training. They give you a $20,000 sign on bonus to repay your student loans. I'd be registered as a emt/medic/firefighter in the state of RI. SO, when I'm not at war or doing national guard things I can be a medic/emt/firefighter for another company. I'm not going to jump into something that I don't want to do. I'm not going to make a rash decision just for the sake of it. I'm actually thinking about it. I'm thinking of the pros. I'm thinking of the cons. I just need more input. I need other pros and cons either than my own. Please, don't tell me how much the war sucks. Please, dont tell me how horrible you think our president is. I know all these things. I wouldnt be joining the guard to fight in the war. I'd be joining the guard to save lives. Which is something that I've always wanted to do.

Thoughts? Opinions?
1 scars or touch my skin
roadnottaken
So, after much time consuming thought. I have finally purchased a brand new SUV. I traded in my jetta that I've only had for about two years for a new 2005 Jeep Liberty limited edition.

I haven't named her yet

She has to go through registering and because I bought her in MA they don't give temporary plates so I have to wait until Friday to actually pick her up. I'm just anxiously waiting for a bad call for something to be messed up or for it to take longer for me to get her.

Work is picking up. I'm hoping that in about a month I can move onto a different position with a higher pay.

Other than that things are what they are.

Wish me luck on the car.
3 scars or touch my skin
roadnottaken
It’s hard to listen to a hard hard heart
Beating close to mine
Pounding up against the stone and steel
Walls that I won’t climb
Sometimes a hurt is so deep deep deep
You think that you’re gonna drown
Sometimes all I can do is weep weep weep
With all this rain falling down

Strange how hard it rains now
Rows and rows of big dark clouds
When I’m holding on underneath this shroud
Rain

Its hard to know when to give up the fight
Two things you want will just never be right
Its never rained like it has to night before
Now I don’t wanna beg you baby
For something maybe you could never give
I’m not looking for the rest of your life
I just want another chance to live

Strange how hard it rains now
Rows and rows of big dark clouds
When I’m holding on underneath this shroud
Rain

Strange how hard it rains now
Rows and rows of big dark clouds
When I’m holding on underneath this shroud
Rain

Strange how hard it rains now
Rows and rows of big dark clouds
When I’m still alive underneath this shroud
Rain Rain Rain

i feel : hrm

touch my skin